Dear Claudine,
I have been married to my husband for 17 years and we have 3 children. The relationship between us has deteriorated over the years and we have talked about separating. I am a full time mother and my husband works full-time. I would just like to know what rights I have, if we separated. I would prefer to agree a legal separation. Can you advise me please? Thanks.
Lucy

Dear Lucy,
Thank you for your letter. Firstly, I am obliged to advise you that if there is any prospect of a reconciliation between you and your husband then you should attend counselling or mediation together. If this is not an option for you, then there are two ways that you can obtain a legal separation. Firstly, you can sign a Separation Agreement and secondly, you can obtain a decree of Judicial Separation from the Family Law Court. As your preference is to agree a legal Separation Agreement without going to Court, I will advise you specifically in relation to obtaining a Separation Agreement. Firstly, a Separation Agreement is a legal document which can be drafted by a solicitor where both parties to a marriage have agreed that they wish to live separate and apart and have made provision for custody, access and maintenance of the dependent children and/or a dependent spouse, where appropriate. The parties must also agree the division of matrimonial property, pensions and inheritance rights. Where there are children under 18 years or children who suffer with a disability, they will be regarded as dependents. Generally, joint custody is agreed between parents with primary care and control of the children to one parent. Access terms must also be agreed detailing specific dates and times within which the other parent has access to their children. Maintenance which is to be paid by one spouse to the other or by one spouse in relation to the dependent children must also be agreed. The Agreement must also detail how matrimonial property is to be divided. The options are that one parent will remain living in the family home with the children until the youngest child reaches the age of 18 years or 23 if he/she is in full-time education. Alternatively, the parties may agree that one of them will pay a lump sum to the other in lieu of the receiving party transferring their legal and beneficial interest in the Family home into the name of the paying spouse. If both parties cannot agree the division of the family home it may have to be sold and the sale proceeds divided fairly between them. There is no provision for agreeing an adjustment to a spouse’s pension scheme without recourse to the Circuit Family Law Court. Likewise, if you are unable to agree the division of matrimonial property then you may have no alternative but to issue Judicial Separation proceedings resulting in the Circuit Family Law Court making a final decision. A separation Agreement is regarded as a legal contract between the parties and can be sued upon if one of the parties does not adhere to the terms as agreed. With every Good Wish,
Claudine